How many times have you said “I feel fat” in your life? How many times have you heard it from someone else?
The funny thing about it though – you can’t really feel fat. Fat isn’t a feeling. I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve definitely been an “I feel fat” offender.
I’ve never been overweight, but I would never call myself skinny. I’ve always just kind of been in the middle. There was nothing special about my body to point out, I had no womanly curves, but didn’t have visible abs either. I just had a straight body with enough excess fat to make it just… normal.
Being in college, it’s been difficult. The people at my university are very fitness-focused as well, meaning a lot of the girls I go to school with have that “perfect bikini body” and aren’t afraid to show it off on Instagram.
Comparing my body to others has always been a problem for me. Constantly I’ve scrolled through social media or seen others on the machine next to me at the gym and looked at myself in comparison and felt disappointed.
I’ve never really had a good body image.
It’s much easier to be positive about other people’s bodies than it is to be about your own. It’s much easier to praise your friend for being confident enough to wear tight pants and crop tops than it is to be the one wearing them. It’s much easier to hate yourself than it is to love yourself.
But, where’s the fun in hating yourself? Where’s the fun in counting calories and feeling like a failure when you’ve eaten too many than your app suggests? Where’s the fun in starting and quitting countless workout programs because you think you’ll never be like the girls who finish them? Where’s the fun in looking in the mirror before you shower and despising every single roll and lump you see?
I don’t want to feel fat. I want to feel strong. Powerful. Beautiful. Accomplished.
We all have that voice inside our heads that tell us we’re not enough. Hearing that voice is sometimes out of our control, but listening to it is always in our control.
I’ve struggled with body image for a while. I’ve worked on becoming more confident in who I am as a person, but becoming more confident in my physicality has proved to be a much harder task.
Everybody is beautiful and every body is beautiful. Including mine. It’s time for me to accept that.
Cheers to loving yourself!